We are very good at treating sickness and disease, but we are terrible at addressing and treating the true causes of sickness and disease. In last week’s blog, I noted that 70-90% of all reasons for doctor visits are related to, caused by, or affected by stress. The boom in physical and mental health conditions is largely the result of our increased amount of, and continued exposure to, the stress that we are experiencing in our lives. Simply put, we are not designed for this much stress day in and day out.
The first step is recognizing and understanding that it is stress that is causing so many of our issues. It causes sickness and disease, affects our mental health, disrupts our sleep, heavily influences our moods, and drains us of our energy. So, what’s the solution? Get rid of that stress!
Ha! If only it were that easy. Yes, if your job is causing enough stress that it is making you ill, you could find another job. If your marriage is full of anguish, or is abusive, miserable, and unfixable, and it is causing you to be sick, ending that relationship may be the answer. Eliminating the source of stress is ideal, and if possible, is the answer. But most of our stress is ongoing and unavoidable. So… if you can’t get rid of the stressor, you’ve got to get better at managing the stressor. Here are five ways to help manage stress…
- Stop watching the news. Mainstream media is designed to keep you watching. What better way to keep your attention than by instilling fear. And that fear elicits the stress response. Most of the bad news that they share has no impact on your life, and you can do nothing about, and we are not designed to know every bad thing happening in the world. And six inches of snow around here doesn’t warrant a “winter storm warning.” I wouldn’t bury your head in the sand, as being aware of world events can be helpful, just don’t immerse yourself in unnecessary stressful news every day.
- Tell yourself a different story. We have a unique way of telling ourselves stories, many of which are inaccurate, exaggerated, and often harmful. We tell ourselves how hard our days are and think about all the reasons they are so hard. Yet, there are so many good things in our days that we overlook or ignore. We focus on what’s wrong with our lives… our finances, our work, our families, yet there is often so much more good that we could focus on. At the beginning of each day, think of three things that you are grateful for, instead of all the things you are dreading. At the end of your day, think of three things you accomplished that day, rather than all the things you did not get to. Telling yourself a different story reduces stress and boosts your internal morale.
- Move your body more. I know everyone tells you to exercise, exercise, exercise. But that’s because you need to exercise, exercise, exercise. Moving your body resets stress hormones and boosts mood-elevating and energy-boosting chemicals. Daily exercise changes your thinking, helping you to think more clearly, see things more positively, and focus more on the good around you. Exercise could be the best medicine for a lot of the depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem plaguing so many people. And it’s free!
- Create better habits. The quality of our lives is a direct result of the quality of our habits. Most of our days are fairly routine. We have similar patterns each morning including when we wake, the foods we eat each day, and the routines we have each evening. We can replace the habit of looking at our phones the first thing each morning with gratitude exercises, prayer, reading a few pages from an uplifting book, or exercise. That habit of having sugary, highly-processed snacks could be eliminated or replaced with carrots, celery, or sliced cucumbers. Doing cardio and resistance training on specific, pre-planned days and times will keep you on track. You need to create new good habits and either eliminate bad habits, or replace the bad habits with good ones. By making these actions habits, you do them routinely, without thinking about them, ensuring they stick. Better habits reduce stress.
- Lay out a plan. A lot of the stress we experience comes from the unknown. We wander through our days unsure of what to do next, what’s coming next, or how we are going to survive each day. You may not love your job, and it may be causing you a lot of stress, but you need that job, so you are stuck. However, if you figure out what would give you more satisfaction and fulfillment, the key is to lay out a plan to get where you want to be. For example, it may be looking into taking evening or online classes through the local community college to get the degree or certification you need to make that move you want to make. Figuring out what classes you need, when you can attend, and how long it will take gives you a path to follow, a plan of action, and a vision to succeed. Hoping for change does not reduce your stress, but laying out a detailed and actionable plan will. Figure out what you really want and need out of your work, your relationships, your finances, and your health… then lay out a plan to get there. That plan with help provide certainty and clarity, which absolutely will reduce stress.
- BONUS TIP… Stop being surprised! It’s one thing to have a recurring stressor in our lives, but it’s another to continue being surprised by that same stressor. If you have a family member or co-worker that regularly stresses you out by doing the same things over and over, and you are continuously shocked by what they do, it’s time to realize that is just how they are, and that is just how they will be. Stop being so surprised by their same behavior. If you are frustrated by the traffic on your way to work, yet that traffic is the same every day, accept it for what it is, know that’s the way it’s going to be, and roll with it. If your clothes fit too snugly because you’ve put on some extra weight, yet you are not doing anything to lose that weight, stop being so surprised each morning when you get dressed. Unless you embark on a different way of eating and engage in an exercise program, don’t be so surprised that your pants are still so tight. We increase our stress by continually being surprised by stuff that shouldn’t be so surprising. Think about some of the things that you allow yourself to be continually surprise by… then stop that.
We live in stressful times. The sooner we accept that, the better. Ideally, we rid ourselves of the stressors in our life. But what about all the stress that is unavoidable? We must learn to manage that stress better. Between any stimulus (stress) and our response, is a small gap. And that gap is our ability to choose. We get to determine what that stress means for us. And there are things we can do to better adapt to and manage this stress. We can let it run us down, ruin our days, and even make us sick, but only if we let it. Implementing even just one of the strategies listed above will help. They may not eliminate the stress, but they are guaranteed to reduce the negative impact of that stress.
The stress in our lives is here to stay, so decide today to get better at managing that stress.
