What does it take for you to be happy? No, really… ask yourself that question seriously. Think about it. For some, it needs to be a sunny day. For others, they might have to have the day off from work. And others might need to be in the company of a particular person, or with a group of specific people, to feel happiness.
The crazy thing is that most of us are not even aware of how dependent our happiness is on our daily circumstance, events, and activities. If we wake up and it’s raining, we sigh, drop our shoulders, and shake our heads in disappointment, because we simply don’t like the rain. Our whole mood shifts, and the quality of that day goes down. Why? Because for those of us who love the sun, we may categorize overcast or rainy days as being bad days.
The truth is, for most of us, it’s not just the weather, or days off, or any one thing, but rather several things that must come together for us to feel happiness or joy. So, why does that matter? Well, if you have a whole list of things that must happen for you to experience happiness, the number of happy days you will experience goes down. The more rules you have in order to be happy, the less days of happiness you’ll get.
On the flip side of that, the less rules you have to be happy, the more days you get with happiness. I’ve given this some thought before, but was reminded of it last weekend. I was at an event and walked up to the elevator. There was an attendant seated on a stool greeting guests, handling the elevators, and directing people to where they needed to go. As we approached the older gentleman, he had a huge smile on his face and an upbeat tone in his voice as he said hello and asked us how we were doing. We all said that we were good, and one of us asked how he was doing. His answer… “I’m doing great!” We nodded and couldn’t help but smile, as his demeanor was contagious. He then said… “I’m great because I woke up today.”
What he was saying is that his rule for being great was that he needed to wake up in the morning. I thought about this then, I thought about it later that day, and I thought about it several times over the next few days. He could have said that he was good, but would rather be off that day. He could have said he could use a raise, or that the weather could be warmer, or that the people he was working with were lazy. He could have said a lot of things that were negative, but probably true.
For this guy, all the other things are variables, but not requirements for him to be happy. He had one rule… to wake up. And if he wakes up, for him, that’s a great day. How many great days do you think this guy has? That’s simple… all of them!
We all want more great days. We all want more happiness. Most of us think that the quality of our days is out of our control. We hope for good days. And with all the rules we’ve established for us to have a great day, these great days will always be few and far between. The more rules we have… the less days of happiness we will experience. It’s as simple as that. In Ohio, there are 173 sunny days, on average, per year. That means that there are 192 days that are overcast. If a sunny day is essential for me to be happy, I know right now that more than half of my days each year will not be happy days. If you are unhappy while at your job, and you work five days per week, you will only be able to experience happiness two days per week. And if work andcloudy days inhibit you from having a great day, you might go weeks feeling quite miserable.
Think about what rules you have. Now think about tweaking that list and reducing the number of those rules. This will result in more great days. More happiness is guaranteed. If your only rule for a day to be great is to wake up, like my elevator attendant friend, every day can be a great day. And the one day he doesn’t wake up, he won’t know it wasn’t great anyway. Want more happiness? Have less rules!
