We all want the good things in life. We crave deep, meaningful relationships, leaner and fitter bodies, financial independence, and a job we love. For most people, the desire for a better life ends right there, as a desire.
It’s not that we aren’t willing to work for what we want, it’s that most of us stop the moment things get tough. We underestimate the amount of work required to turn our dreams into reality. Many don’t even try because of the fear of failure, and those that do make an attempt don’t realize that things often get worse before they get better. So as soon as things look, or feel bad, they bail. They retreat back into their mediocre (or worse) lives, accepting the comfort of the known, and never getting to experience the richer, fuller, and happier life that is there for the taking.
We run a weight loss program in our office. As patients embark on the 6-week, fairly intensive program, their bodies, and brains, often resist. When the body is initially deprived of the sugar, fat, and calories it is used to, it may rebel. The first few days may involve some fatigue, maybe a dull headache, along with the frustration of not being able to just eat whatever they want. Nobody desires fatigue, headaches, or frustration, yet everyone doing the program wants to lose weight. But in order to get to the good, you must endure some bad.
All worthy achievements in life require hard work, sacrifice, and persistence. And they almost always involve things getting a little worse before getting better. The key is to be able to remain focused on the goal you are striving for, which helps keep you going through the tougher times.
A college student isn’t handed a diploma without having spent countless hours staying up late studying, memorizing, and learning. A person with a muscular, fit build doesn’t get that way without pushing their muscles through painful workouts, sweating, and choosing healthier foods. A couple in a loving, caring, incredible relationship doesn’t get to experience that without sacrificing, putting the needs of the other person first, and making a conscious effort. And a person living in financial abundance did not achieve that without planning, saving, and strategizing.
Most people are really good at wanting the college degree, the better body, the stronger relationship, or the financial freedom, but aren’t willing to take the risk, put in the effort, or sustain the difficulties that come with the change required to get what they ultimately want.
If you knew that you had to endure some pain, but that pain would eventually ease, and on the other side of that pain your life would be better, would you do it? It’s a tricky question, because if you knew you would get through it, and knew your life would be better, then of course you would do whatever it is you’d have to do. The problem is that we don’t know. And not knowing keeps us from even trying. And not trying keeps us in the same predicaments that we are currently in.
Women have babies. They know that pain is a part of the process and experience, but they accept and endure that pain because they know that on the other side is a beautiful baby boy or girl. Olympic athletes train, sweat, and bleed to be the best they can. They go through massive amounts of pain and sacrifice. Why? Because they want to win, and believe that winning an Olympic gold medal is worth it. You don’t get the baby, or the gold medal, without going through some bad.
If you are unsatisfied with an area of your life, you can accept it and continue living with it. If you are fed up, want more, and are ready to change, it will require work. Along the journey of change you can expect some suffering. I would encourage you to focus heavily on your desired outcome to continue to fuel your efforts, understand that there will be some pain, suffering, and sacrifice, commit to the process, and be patient. If it’s that important to you, you can and will come out on the other side victorious, and the bad stuff along the way will not stop you. Getting to the good usually requires going through some bad.
