Humans tend to avoid hard things. We like taking paths of least resistance, doing things that require little effort, and maintaining simple routines. Most of our days are very much like the day before… and the day before that… and the day before that. Personal growth can only occur if we consciously commit to growth, improvement, and advancement. But putting in the work day after day can get exhausting, and it is human nature to poop out, give up, and fall back into our old routines.
So, what’s the secret to sustained success? There is one way of making harder things easier and to consistently do the things that lead to success… and that is to create habits. The word habit is defined as “a routine of behavior that is repeated regularly and tends to occur subconsciously.” The more routine a behavior becomes, and the more subconsciously it becomes, the more likely we are to maintain it.
The best book on habits is Atomic Habits, by James Clear. I’ve read it more than once, and have gifted it many times. On a recent flight, I watched a Master Class with James Clear which consisted of ten mini lessons, each being about 7-10 minutes in length. (https://www.masterclass.com/classes/small-habits-that-make-a-big-impact-on-your-life). It was really good! Here are some take-aways from that series, with my own thoughts and ideas interjected as well…
Writer Will Durant said, “We are what we repeatedly do… therefore, excellence is not an act, but a habit.” Becoming great, achieving the highest levels of success, and attaining the life you’ve always dreamed of do not come from one big move, one exceptional day, or a single decision, but rather by little things done consistently, over time.
Our behaviors are what we can control, not outcomes. Focusing on outcomes solely can lead to frustration, disappointment, and ultimately quitting. Setting a goal, thinking about a goal, and getting excited about a goal is critical, but that end result is not entirely in your control. Your daily actions are. By stringing daily habits together, day after day after day, you will move closer and closer to your desired outcome. In the midst of building habits, taking action, and creating a new identity, that new you may realize a different goal. You may find a new and even greater purpose. And you may even exceed your wildest dreams.
The real reason habits matter is because over time they reshape our identity. It starts with better self-talk, telling a new story, and begins reshaping who you are. Some of our identities have been with us since we were very young. It may stem from how we looked at ourselves in comparison to others. Many identities come from societal labels and classifications. And because our earliest levels of influence come from our parents, a lot of our identity stems from the words they used and the way they made us feel. The more consistent we are with a habit, and the longer we do it, the more it changes who we believe ourselves to be. We no longer are a person trying to behave better, we become a new person.
James Clear says we don’t lack motivation, we lack clarity. If we are clear on what we have to do each day, at a specific time, there is no uncertainty. And with less uncertainty, our actions become much more consistent.
And missing a day or breaking a habit isn’t the end of the world. Even the most successful people slip up. But the best and most successful people are really good at getting back on track. And they do not make messing up their new habit. So, a good mantra is… never miss twice!
You can work to create new good habits, or work to break old habits. Spending more energy on creating new good habits will ultimately lead to the old bad habits going away. So, start with trying to create new habits. Start with small things (atomic), as you will be more likely to succeed. That success will start to shape your identity. And it’s that new identity that will lead to the most transformative change in your life. Clear says… “When dreaming, think big. When taking action, think small.”
Personally, I commit to working on a new habit every three months (one per quarter). This adds up to four new habits each year… forty new habits each decade.
