Many of you will find it surprising to know that I used to get into some trouble when I was younger. Enough trouble that I landed in front of a judge at the juvenile detention center. That day significantly altered the course of my life.
The judge looked at my parents and told them what she thought the problem was. “He has a decision-making problem,” she said, “Paul makes bad decisions.” It was like time stood still for a moment as those words circulated in my head. “Damn… she’s right. I make bad decisions.” It was at that moment that I remember thinking that my decisions were like superhero powers– they could be used for good or for evil. I also remember thinking if I didn’t like the path I was on (which I didn’t), that I could change that path by simply making different, and better, decisions.
Life is full of choices, and the truth is, where we are in life is a direct result of the choices we have made. We think and feel like life just happens to us, but most of what we have, where we are, and who we’ve become stems from the choices we’ve made, day in and day out, year after year.
I once had a patient, who was overweight, struggled financially, and had a pretty poor outlook on life, complaining about her “lucky” friend. This friend was thin and fit, ran a successful business, and lived life fully. My patient said that she wished she had a life and body like that, and that her friend got great genes.
The thing is, I knew her friend well. And her success that was so envied was anything but genetic. The difference was what she chose to eat, how often she worked out, the materials she read and studied, the people she spent time with, the places she went, and how she spent her free time. Good choices lead to better outcomes, while poor choices lead to not-so-good outcomes. And the longer one makes good or bad choices, the more the quality of their life reflects those choices.
Genes have gained a lot of attention over the years, but we now know that our genes are certainly NOT our destiny. Our genes have very little impact on the quality of our lives. This is very clear when looking at studies on identical twins. Same exact genes, but many times very different body types and levels of success if brought up in different environments. Genes can be overridden by the lifestyle choices we make.
When looking at a menu, you have choices. Do you choose the cheeseburger and fries… or the side salad and grilled fish? Do you have one drink… or several. Do you order dessert… or pass? How about exercise habits? Do you work out at all? Do you work out for a week, then stop? Or do you have a consistent schedule of exercise?
How are you spending your free time? Are you binge watching Netflix shows? Planning for your next day? Preparing for work and meetings ahead of time?
It all comes down to the choices we make. The most successful people I know make decisions that bring them the success that they have. Life isn’t something that just happens TO you, it happens BECAUSE of you. Your life is a compounded effect of decision after decision.
Some people bow out of making decisions, believing that life does just happen, that goodness will just fall into their lap. The truth is, not making a choice is choosing. Like sins of omission, avoiding making choices leads to the same outcomes as making bad choices.
Take a good hard look at the choices you are making. If there is an area of your life that you are disappointed with (your body, relationships, finances, work, etc.), look back at how things got the way that they have. You’ll likely find that things are the way they are because of the choices you have been making.
Here’s the great news… start making better choices, and your life will get better. I can tell you from my own personal experience that making better choices has been the difference between success and failure, happiness and misery, and life and death itself. And when I do get into a funk, I know that the way out is by making better, healthier, and more solid choices.
So… how will you navigate through the remainder of your life? The choice is yours!
