I catch myself highlighting my weaknesses, shortcomings, and failures. I think most of us do that. For some reason, it is so easy to pick out and dwell on what we can’t do, what we don’t have, and what we have not accomplished. I always wonder if there is a reason for certain tendencies or behaviors (such as this) that may have served us well to get where we have gotten. Maybe we are wired that way—to focus on our weaknesses. Perhaps this was beneficial to our ancestors and has allowed us to not only survive as a species, but to thrive.
Regardless of the fact that we have an uncanny ability to focus on what is wrong with us, it is a great practice to periodically take time to think about what is good about us. I can’t remember where I heard it, but I recently came across a post-it note with the words “What’s strong with you?” written on it. I had underlined the word strong.
Each of us has a special set of attributes, talents, and gifts that contributes to our uniqueness. Of course, not everyone can golf like Tiger Woods, perform like Robert Downey, Jr., or inspire like Mother Theresa, but there are things that you do better than many others. And even if you do not have a single attribute that trumps the attributes of other people, you definitely do things that are exceptional and make you special.
So why don’t we focus on those? I really can’t say for sure. But I do know that we very easily highlight, ponder, and fester on our weaknesses. If I ask you what’s wrong with you, you could rattle off a long list in a moment. If I ask you your strengths, you’ll likely hesitate, stare off into space, and slowly spit out one or two things. But that list is much longer, and much more powerful than those weaknesses.
If you are struggling to come up with strengths, you’re not alone. Maybe we struggle from being scolded or criticized for being arrogant, or we’ve felt pressured to be more humble. For some reason, we default to focusing on what is wrong with ourselves. A simple exercise would be to think about your five closest friends. If I asked them to list what they thought were your top three qualities, what would they say? You can see how much clearer and easier it is when thinking about it coming from a third party. But those are your qualities. Those attributes are what set you apart. Those talents or skills are what make you strong.
Author Robin Sharma’s quote is worth noting… “What you focus on grows, what you think about expands, and what you dwell upon determines your destiny.” If you think you’re ignorant, you’ll be ignorant. If you believe you are a loser, you’ll be a loser. If you dwell on your weaknesses, those weakness will be more prevalent. And we are so good at doing that. We can be just as good, or even better, at thinking, believing, and dwelling on our greatness.
Many self-help experts emphasize the need to note our weaknesses and work to improve those. I think it is far more powerful to note our strengths and work to make those even stronger. You can do far more good by maximizing your strengths than you can by trying to improve on your weaknesses. If your weaknesses are sabotaging your life, causing you great harm, or hindering your ability to thrive, then by all means, work on them. But it will be a shorter and easier route to your best life if you focus on your strengths and build on those.
Take a moment and list three to five traits, skills, or strengths that you have. Make those the things that allow you to achieve a higher level of success. Stop asking what’s wrong with me… and start asking what’s STRONG with me.
