People love to talk big talk. Unfortunately, people often fail to walk the walk. It is very easy to spurt out the things we can do, or will do (politicians do it very well), but it’s imperative to check our behaviors and results to make sure they match.
We talk about change, but seldom make it. Think about the resolutions that are made every single year. We dig in a little deeper, think about where we are coming up short, vow to make changes, start off strong… then fail. You’ll find differing stats on how many people fail to achieve that change, and how long it takes, but the bottom line is that most people fail, and they mostly fail fast.
It is human nature to portray ourselves in the best light possible. It’s a survival and self-esteem-saving instinct. And in most instances, we believe the stories that we tell ourselves. We really believe that this time it will be different. This time, we will lose the weight. We will get to bed earlier or wake up earlier. We will put more attention and effort into our work. Or our relationships. Our intentions are good.
Of course, there are those that outright lie and live in hypocrisy. The boss who urges promptness and commitment, yet shows up late each day and misses meetings. The parent that emphasizes family values to the children, yet gets caught having an affair. The church pastor who gets caught doing the very thing that he preaches against each week. Or the athlete that pushes for equality and fair play, yet gets caught cheating.
For most, it’s not these harsher examples, but the subtle day-in and day-out contradictions between what we say and what we do. Our behaviors do not often match our words. We have heard many times that actions speak louder than words. And we’ve also heard that talk is cheap. It would be wise to check in and assess how well what we are saying compares with how we are behaving.
This is especially important with children. It is clear that kids do what they see, not what they are told. I’ve been amazed to watch adults preach the “Just Say No” mantra, yet pop pills for every ache, pain, and problem. They want their children to end up in loving, caring, respectful relationships, yet eek through their marriage with minimal love, care, or respect. And they push their kids to do well in school, to get into a prestigious college, and to seek a successful career, yet drag themselves to work each day, hate most minutes of it, and complain about how much they don’t like it.
We talk a good game. Our intentions are solid. We mean well. We want to do well and have a fulfilling life. Let’s commit to doing more. Let’s commit to making sure that what we say matches what we do. Actually, let’s try to go one step further and do MORE and speak LESS. I saw a bumper sticker years ago that I loved. It read… “Bite More, Bark Less.”
We need more doers, and less talkers. Let your actions do the talking. When what you do aligns with what you say, you will see a boost in your leadership, your happiness, your confidence, and your self-esteem. Do a quick check and see where what you’re saying doesn’t line up with how you act. Now go to work on that.