I’m sure you have seen the videos online where they show an expert performing some type of activity, and the caption says, “What you think you look like.” Then they show a person performing that same activity, but failing miserably, and that caption says, “What you ACTUALLY look like.” It is pretty amusing, but unfortunately true in most cases.
Our brains have an uncanny way of tricking us into thinking we look, act, and are better than we actually are. I suppose that makes sense, as it is a protective mechanism to keep us feeling at least okay about ourselves. The best example of this trickery is our bathroom mirrors. Each morning, as we get ourselves ready for the day, we look at our reflection in the mirror and tell ourselves… I look pretty damn good! We see ourselves as thinner, more fit, and better looking than we actually are (well… most of us anyway). And we know this is true because what happens when we see ourselves in a photo? Everyone says the same things… That is a really bad picture of me… My hair normally doesn’t look like that… That pic caught me at a bad angle…Wow, I look so fat in that picture. How is it that we never, ever take a “good” picture??? Haha!
It would be unhealthy to continuously beat ourselves up, telling ourselves how out of shape, unattractive, and overweight we are. I would never suggest we do that. However, if we are not honest with ourselves, we will never change. Self-deception is often what holds people back. Massive and radical change happens when we can clearly see where we want to end up, but will never happen if we are not honest about where we are truly starting. I remember Tony Robbins talking about this, noting that you tell yourself you are big-boned, you are big-boned, you are big-boned, but the truth is… you’re fat!
We all use the Global Positioning System (GPS). GPS is like magic. You simply put in the address or destination where you want to end up, hit a button, and it lays out the exact path to get there. It shows the map of where you will go and lists your route, turn by turn. In order for it to be accurate, or for it to work at all, it needs a correct starting location. Most of the time it uses your “current location” as the default starting point. And it is amazingly accurate. If it were to use an alternate, inaccurate starting location, you would not be able to get where you are trying to go.
This is why it is SO important to be honest with yourself when assessing where you are right now when it comes to whatever it is you want to, and often need to, change. In fact, not being honest about how bad something really is usually prevents you from taking any action at all. If you think your body looks “good enough,” then you will not begin that new workout or change your eating. If you don’t acknowledge that you are spending more money than you make, then will never begin to accumulate wealth. If you and your partner don’t admit how unfulfilled you are in your relationship, you won’t take the steps needed to reconnect and rebuild that lost love. And if you don’t take a hard look at the things you dread with the work you are doing, you will continue dragging yourself through each work day and miss out on doing meaningful work.
I am a big fan of setting goals, visualizing, positive self-talk, and working to optimize life. The best results can only come if we are fully honest with where we are right now. Being brutally honest with ourselves is not easy, but necessary for true growth and change. It’s not okay to tell ourselves (or anyone else for that matter) that everything is okay if it isn’t. We have within us the power to create amazing change. Clearly seeing just how bad things are right now is a critical step in getting started. Don’t berate yourself, or constantly beat yourself up, but avoid deceiving yourself any longer into thinking things are better than they actually are.
