You will benefit greatly from getting a better understanding of something called delayed gratification. I know you know what these two words mean, but how can you apply it to your daily life?
In 1970, a psychologist named Walter Mischel conducted an experiment with children. He placed a cookie in front of them and gave them the choice of either eating that cookie immediately, or waiting until he returned from running an errand. If they waited, they would receive a second cookie. If they ate the cookie before he returned, there would be no second cookie. As you can imagine, many of the children ate the cookie immediately. Some, however, waited.
As it turned out, the children that could resist the temptation and wait for the second cookie ended up having fewer behavioral problems and doing better in school, even scoring higher on SAT tests by an average of 210 points. These high-delay children, as they were called, were more likely to complete college and more likely to earn higher incomes. The children who could not delay their gratification had higher rates of incarceration and were more likely to struggle with addiction.
We all want gratification, but it pays to be able to delay it. When we are torn between wanting a better body and wanting a cupcake, the cupcake often wins because it is right there, right now. The immediate gratification of eating that cupcake crushes that longer-term desire for having a better body. The key is to condition our minds to bypass the immediate gratification so that we can successfully enjoy the later, and usually much more significant, goal.
Delayed gratification is an essential tool for success in any area of life. It is a technique that I use a lot. And with a little help, you can get better at using it too.
If you were to try the cookie test, how would you delay your desire to eat that first cookie. You could ignore that first cookie. You could close your eyes and try to think of something else. You could even picture that first cookie as something that would taste terrible. But the best way to make it to that second cookie would be to focus on the two cookies you will eventually get. Picturing yourself with two cookies instead of one, and imaging yourself with those two cookies would increase your odds of holding out long enough to get the second treat.
This same method will work in any area of your life. Sure, you want to buy that fancier, more expensive car right now, but if you can vividly imagine yourself in the lifestyle you’ve dreamed of once retired, you might be able to resist that temptation to spend more money now, so that you can have the retirement you’ve dreamed of. If you focus heavily on all the pleasure that a new car will bring you, you do not stand a chance. Your focus has to be on what you want in the future.
Let’s say you want to lose weight. You need to have a very vivid picture of that thinner you in your head. The next time you reach for that cupcake, stop focusing on how great it will taste, and instead, focus on the image of that thinner you. Think of how good you would feel, the type of clothes you could wear, and how much more confident you would be. The immediate gratification of that crappy cupcake will melt away, and you will be one step closer to that body you dreamed of.
Delayed gratification will start out as something you have to think about, but eventually, it will become a habit. I would have to give credit to this technique, possibly above all others, for the success I have had in my life. Start delaying your gratification today… and remember, you’re sacrificing a minor pleasure now for a much greater pleasure later.
