If you’re one of the 40 million people that will set new year’s resolutions this year, know that statistics show that more than 80% of people that make new year’s resolutions fail. I don’t say this to scare you off or to discourage you from setting goals. I highly recommend it. But it helps to acknowledge the difficulties before embarking on this journey to help stack the odds in your favor.
There are many reasons why people fail to achieve their goals, including setting too many goals, setting goals that are simply too big, or setting goals that you aren’t really committed to or excited about. The biggest problem I see is that people set goals that are just too big.
Have your eyes ever been bigger than your stomach? I’m referring to when someone takes more food than they can eat. I know I’ve done it. I’ve loaded up a plate or bowl with something because I’m hungry, and I feel like I’m starving and need all that food. Halfway through the meal, I slow down, realizing that I took way too much food, and simply can’t finish.
I think the eyes being bigger than your stomach idiom can be applied to new year’s goal setting. We long for big change, we know we need drastic improvements in our lives, and we can see ourselves achieving the greatness. But like our eyes being bigger than our stomachs, our minds are bigger than our capabilities.
Don’t get me wrong, I am a huge fan of setting big, big goals. And I believe most people can achieve almost anything they set their minds to. But like any journey, it has to start with the first steps. Setting slightly smaller, more realistic goals ensures you will get off to a better start. Seeing yourself move toward that goal builds momentum, retains your focus, and maintains your excitement. If it’s too big, too far off in the distance, you’ll lose all of that. And once frustration, disappointment, and fatigue start to kick in, it is easy to feel the desire to quit.
One tip that I know can help is to utilize what I call the “-ish” principle. This means that when setting a new goal, you don’t lock yourself into the harshest of guidelines. Let’s say you want to start meditating. You find a meditation practice you like, you know how long each session will be, and you are deciding how often you plan on doing it. Most people will start with the full commitment of doing it daily. Well, with the hustle and bustle of daily life, outside interferences, and unforeseen obstacles, you are most likely going to miss a day here and there. Once you miss once, you feel like you broke your promise to yourself, and feel like you’ve failed. Missing once easily turns into twice, then three times, then the practice falls completely apart. So, instead of committing to meditating daily, commit to daily-ish.
Daily-ish does two very important things… it gets you doing the thing you are setting out to do more than you were before… and… it gives you the peace of mind of knowing that you do not have to do it every single day. And this can be applied to any activity, endeavor, or habit you are trying to implement into your life.
Working out every single day is difficult for most people. Never eating chocolate again is an unlikely achievement for a chocolate lover. Waking up at 4:30 A.M. every single day is rough for someone not used to getting up early. If you are trying to create a new habit, and it is super far from your current habits, the -ishprinciple is a great bridge between where you are and where you want to get to.
You’ll still achieve the greatness you are striving for, and it may take a little longer, but you will be much more likely to get there, and you’ll do so in a pleasant and comfortable way. So, this year, if you have repeatedly failed in the past, try doing whatever it is you want to do, not daily, but daily-ish.