I don’t want to sound like an old man, but things have changed over the years, haven’t they? We’ve got a new generation of people with what some might call a skewed work ethic; most people are spending more money than they make; and relationship dynamics have been heavily altered by things like texting and social media. Okay, I do sound like an old man!
Not long ago, I wrote about being more present–to really be engaged when you are with another person. That deeper sense of being present should not be limited to just relationships, but everything you involve yourself in. I recently read a quote that prompted me to write this article. In Tim Ferris’ book, Tribe of Mentors, he gets over one hundred high performers and big thinkers to answer specific questions to help guide us and share some life advice. Steven Pressfield, another successful author that participated in this book, shared a quote that jumped out at me. He was talking about how everyone wants to succeed these days “immediately and without pain or effort.” (That’s not the quote that jumped out at me.) He talks about people trying to do “all the surface stuff and none of the real work it takes to actually produce something of value.” (That’s not the quote that jumped out at me either.) He says living on the surface is “the disease of our times.” The quote that caught my attention, the words he used that I thought nailed it, were that “We’re like the Platte River, a mile wide and an inch deep.”
Doesn’t that sum it up? We are losing our depth. Conversations are usually via email and text, rather than in person. People talk about how many “friends” they have, but are referring to Facebook and Instagram people that they really don’t even know. Jobs are taken with no intention of staying for a long period of time. Employers will dump a long-term employee for two younger, cheaper employees. We give up wholesome, nutritious, real food, for the ease of being able to drive through and polish off a meal in less than ten minutes. And there is a stronger emphasis on putting yourself first… looking out for number one only.
I am all for advancing technology and making life easier, but we need to remember to take deeper dives into the things that we love, value, and bring meaning to our lives. We need to go below the surface. It is often the time, energy, and effort required to go deeper that brings us the joy and meaningfulness that we are so desperately longing for.
What does this have to do with wellness? True wellness goes much deeper than just what we eat, how much we exercise, and how our bodies look. I’ve argued for years that the problems we are seeing throughout the world are not due to drugs, or guns, or whatever people will argue is the cause. We are simply not well! And when we are not well, we turn to whatever we can find to fill us up. When we lack deep, meaningful relationships, a strong sense of purpose, and/or a connectedness to the community in which we live, negative thoughts and emotions show up, and we reach for anything that will make us feel good fast.
Instead of skimming the internet, reading the first few paragraphs of dozens of topics, pick one or two that really spark your interest and dig deep. Instead of focusing on attracting hundreds of so-called “friends” on social media, re-connect with a long-term best friend or two, and immerse yourself into spending time, conversation, and activities with them. Instead of cramming synthetic, pre-made food down your throat as fast as you can, take time and make a meal, from scratch, using whole, real foods. Then eat it slowly, savoring each bite.
And you may need to go so far as to rethink your job. Is it worth getting up each day dreading the work you do or the stress that it causes. If you do what you do because of the money only, it’s time to reevaluate what’s really important to you, commit to getting back on that track (however long it takes), and start doing something that brings you bliss.
I hope this message resonates with you. It is time to go deeper. Stop skimming the surface in everything you do, and take the time, put in the effort, and really take a plunge. Don’t settle for a life that is a mile wide and an inch deep.
