Do you ever stop and ask yourself why you do things the way you do them? We tend to go through our days on what could be called autopilot. It’s been said that we have 60,000 thoughts per day, and that 90% of those thoughts are repetitive. Nearly 50% of our daily activities are habitual, from when we wake up, to when we go to bed, to the order in which we go through our morning routines, and when we eat meals.
Obviously, routine and habits are important, as our brains have to wade through so much information daily. If we had to stop and think about everything we do and why we do it, we’d be paralyzed with information overload. So, I believe that we are wired to create habits, develop routines, and streamline our days.
While routines and habits have been critical to the survival of our species, it’s worth stepping back for a moment and asking ourselves about some of what we do. But with so many daily activities and behaviors, where would we begin? It may seem like a daunting task, but the answer is easy. Start with areas in your life where you are struggling most.
If things are going well, and you are happy with the results you’re getting in an area of your life, leave that area alone. But if you’re having a tough time, finding yourself frustrated and unhappy, it’s worth doing a little analysis.
I was having a discussion one day with a nurse about a medical intervention that I thought was overutilized and often unnecessary. She was dumbfounded, as it is very routinely done every day in this country. As I posed some simple questions and presented some basic facts, it became clear that she had no real knowledge of the intervention. She was well-versed in when to do it, and how to perform it, as she was trained in nursing school, but had never stopped to ask why it was being done. The discussion became more emotional than factual, as she stumbled to defend her position. Realizing she could not answer the questions I was asking, and probably feeling a little bit foolish that she did not know many facts, she frustratingly blurted out these words… “Because this is the way it’s always been done.” Yikes!
The truth is, most of what we do can’t be defended very well. We do things because that’s the way our parents did them, and they did them that way because that’s the way their parents did them, and so on.
You’ve likely heard this parable… where a woman cuts off the end of a ham before baking it, and the husband asks her why she’s wasting that nice piece of ham. She responds by saying that her mother prepared it the same way. Later that day, she calls her mother to ask why she cuts the end of the ham off. Her mother tells her that it’s because that’s the way her mother always prepared it. Out of curiosity, the girl calls her grandfather, because her grandmother had passed away, and asks if he knows why she cut the end of the ham off before cooking it. He says that she had to cut off the end of the ham because it’s the only way it would fit into the pan that they had.
Traditions are important, habits are useful, and routines are critical, but only if they are serving you well and providing good outcomes. You can’t question all of them, but you must question the ones that are not serving you well.
If you are struggling with your health, having trouble with certain relationships, find yourself in financial strains, or are consistently running into the same problems at work, it’s time to look at your habits, strategies, behaviors, and beliefs. Remember the definition of insanity… doing the same things over and over, expecting a different result. Continuing to do something the same way simply because that is how it’s always been doneis not a good strategy. Maybe it’s time for a new tradition, a new habit, or a new routine… one that gets you the results you truly want.
