Humans are very relative creatures. In Northeast Ohio, if the temperature gets up to 50 degrees in winter, people lose the jackets and put on shorts. In the hotter summers, if the temperature drops to the low 70’s, you’ll see people bundling up in jackets. Why shorts at 50 degrees one day, and jackets at 70 degrees another? Because 50 degrees is warm relative to 10 or 20 degrees, and 70 degrees is cold relative to 85 or 90 degrees. Our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors are heavily influenced by using this comparative data, analyzing where we are at, or how things are going, relative to what we currently know or are experiencing.
Have you ever noticed how a destination one hour away feels like it takes forever to get there? Yet, if you are traveling through that area on your way to a destination eight hours away, that first hour feels so fast and so close.
We get used to things being a certain way, then base a lot of what we feel and think around that baseline. It happens in all areas of life. It happens with weather, finances, health, work, and relationships.
What got me thinking about this is a dream I had recently. I had sat down at a sporting event and was complaining about work (which is funny because I don’t complain about work). I didn’t realize that a friend was sitting directly behind me. He had heard me, leaned forward, and told me that it was interesting that I was complaining about work, because he had just seen his 91-year-old grandfather, who told him that day, how much he would love it if he could just be able to work again.
Take a moment and think about the things you complain about, are frustrated with, or are fed up with. The truth is, if you were unable to do those things, or instantly did not have those things, you’d wished you had them in your life (a lot of them anyway).
I remember hearing a quote (and I can’t remember who said it) that went like this… If you stub your toe, be grateful you have a toe to stub. If you have a child that is acting out, be grateful that they are healthy enough to act out.
I’ve given a lot of thought to that over the years since hearing it. It puts things in perspective, doesn’t it? I believe complaining and being negative at times can be human nature, and I don’t believe you can escape it entirely. However, it is very helpful to be conscious of the fact that you do it, catch yourself doing it, and make an effort to remind yourself that life, overall, is pretty damn good.
We curse the rain when it’s raining, then beg for it when there’s a drought. We wish it were cooler on hot days, then long for the heat when it’s cold. People constantly whine and complain about work, but when there’s a downturn (or a pandemic) that threatens their livelihood, the appreciation they have for their work jumps (and their whining and complaining vanishes).
Think about how many people take a new job because of all the problems with the old one. Then, upon taking that new job, quickly realize how good they had it before. They simply failed to recognize and appreciate what they had. Or all the people that leave a relationship because of the shortcomings of their spouse or significant other, only to end up in another relationship with a whole new set of complaints and issues (many of which are the same as the first one).
It’s all relative. Paying attention to this phenomenon can be very helpful. It can protect you, improve your current state of being, and ensure greater happiness and contentment. Like I said, it’s natural to become blind to what you have or to find ways to complain about almost anything. Taking time each day, even a moment, to express gratitude for what you have will do wonders for the quality of your life.
