In last week’s blog, I stated that we are the most confused species on the planet when it comes to health and wellness. That confusion has led us to cling to myths regarding our health, which I wrote about last week, but myths plague every aspect of our lives. Here are five life myths that lead us down a path of frustration, unhappiness, and continued internal struggle.
We are going to get it all done. If you’re like me, you make little lists each day with the things you need to, or want to, get done. I tend to use little Post-it notes. I get great pleasure from checking off those tasks that get completed, but carrying over the uncompleted ones to the next day’s little piece of sticky paper leaves me with some bad feelings… disappointment, overwhelm, anxiousness, etc. Somehow, we think we are supposed to, and going to, get it all done. The truth is, we never get it all done. Like weeds in a garden that require ongoing attention, life’s tasks are never-ending, continuing to sprout up day after day. The idea that we’re going to get is all done is a myth, and the sooner we accept that, the sooner we can relax, stop beating ourselves up, and enjoy the present moment better.
Life should get easier as we age. I remember thinking I was so busy in high school. I couldn’t wait to become an adult so I didn’t have so much responsibility, and I could enjoy more free time. Ha! That was a myth. I remember my parents saying, “If you think you’re busy now, just wait.” The work load, responsibility, and demands get bigger, greater, and harder as we age. The reality is that we take on a job, have kids, then those kids have kids, meaning the number of things and people that we are responsible for, and intertwined with, continues to expand. And with that, so does the workload. The increasing difficulties of life are not something to resent or avoid, as it is these very difficulties that make life full, rich, and challenging.
We’re going to work hard, retire, and sail off into the sunset one day. There’s a retirement myth that gets taught, past down, or somehow acquired. The idea that we are going to work really hard for 40 or 50 years, end up with a big bag of cash because of what we saved in the bank or in a retirement account, then either sit back and do nothing or travel around the world enjoying all that money, is myth. Four things actually happen: (1.) You end up never having enough money to quit working; (2.) You’re too beat up, broken down, and old to do all those adventurous activities you thought you would once you didn’t have to work anymore; (3.) You are so bored once you retire that you take on a new career or go back to work; or (4.) You don’t make it to retirement (Yikes!). It’s critical to realize that your life clock is ticking, so you need to enjoy (as best you can) the work you are doing, stop longing for a time in the distant future, and start doing the things you want to do (that bucket list) right now.
Money and/or fame will make you happy. Talk to someone with a ton of money, review the lives of the most famous stars, or simply pick up any issue of People magazine, and you’ll realize quite quickly not only that money and fame do not buy happiness, but they can quickly make our efforts to reach that blissful state that much harder. Most people bust their butts working hard, make risky investments, and even play the lottery with the idea that if they “hit it big” then their life will be on easy street, and they will be happy. Others seek out attention and esteem thinking the admiration and adoration from others will fill them with eternal joy. Social media gives even the simplest of folk a stage to display all their accolades and accomplishments. But it might be one of the oldest myths that money and fame are the key to happiness. Being financially secure is critical, and having the respect of those you love most is honorable, but true happiness comes from within.
We need to live a balanced life. The word balance is defined as a condition in which different elements are equal or in the correct proportions. While striving for a balanced life is wise (and something I spend a great deal of time working on), true balance is a myth. There are many aspects to life, and they ebb and flow, day to day, week to week, and year to year. When we stand upright, we appear to be balanced. However, the muscles in our legs, hips, and back are in a constant state of flux, flexing and relaxing as we invisibly wobble back and forth. It’s how we navigate uneven terrain, contend with outside forces, and make it through the day. As we work harder one day so we can play hard the next, the work allows us the means to play, and the play rejuvenates us enough to continue to work. A dip in the strength of a relationship triggers us to put more time and effort into boosting that relationship. We put too much emphasis on one area of life, while another area suffers. Then, we shift our attention to that weaker area of life, allowing that other area to then weaken. It’s a dance for sure, and balance is a worthy goal, but it’s a myth to think that our lives will be in complete balance at any one time.
The human mind is complex. We are strange creatures. It is important to occasionally reflect on what we are doing, why we do it, and to be honest with ourselves. The fact that we never get it all done, that life is hard, that there is no magical finish line, that happiness is elusive, and that true balance is unattainable, is no reason to be bummed out. This is life! Life is flowing, changing, and evolving each minute of each day. It’s the mere craziness of life that makes life… well… life. It’s human nature to buy into these five myths of life, but the sooner we realize they are simply myths, the happier, more enjoyable, and less frustrating this life will be. Now… go live your (crazy) life.