I was a busboy at a really nice restaurant/hotel early in high school. One day, I was preparing to take some luggage out to a car for a couple and found myself talking to the gentleman as he waited for his wife to come down to the lobby. This guy was not arrogant or stuffy like many of the guests. I remember him asking me a lot of questions, appearing genuinely interested in what I had to say, and basically being a real cool guy.
As I carried the luggage out, I noticed that their car was an extremely nice car. It was parked in one of the first spots, which made my job very easy. I loaded up their luggage, he shook my hand, thanked me, handed me a tip, and they left. As I walked back in to the hotel, I pulled out the money he had just given me, realizing that it was a twenty-dollar bill. Wow! That was a lot of money, and it was extremely generous for the minimal amount of work I just did.
A co-worker of mine passed me as I walked in and asked me, “do you know who that was?” I told him I did not. He was surprised I did not know who it was because, as it turned out, this guy was one of the wealthiest, most prominent businessmen in the area and had been in the papers, in magazines, and on television for years.
That interaction hit me like a ton of bricks, and I never forgot it. It wasn’t just the events that took place, but the feelings I had. Here was a guy that had no reason to even acknowledge the workers in that hotel, but he engaged with me like he was a friend or family. He didn’t act successful, he didn’t talk down to me, and he basically shattered any stereotypes I had about super wealthy and prominent people. After all, my typical encounter with people of his stature was much different, where they acted like they seemed to enjoy displaying their wealth, wanted you to know they were really successful, and treated us like “the help” that we were. And while most of the guests we dealt with could tip us much more, most did not.
I told myself that day that no matter what level of success I achieved in my life, I would remember how that guy made me feel and how impactful it was for him to be so cool with me. And I vowed to always remember that I was once a busboy with no money and few accolades. If I had to sum up that guy in a word, it would be humble. I told myself that remaining humble is one of the most important things I could do in life.
The word humble is defined as “having or showing a modest estimate of one’s value or importance; not arrogant or self-important.” It is dangerous to inflate your level of importance, and arrogance is such an ugly trait. As successful as you are, or may become, or as good as you are at something, or may become, all of it can disappear. If you put all of your self-worth into your net worth, the position you hold in the company, or your level of success in any endeavor, that self-worth is built on a shaky foundation. Fortunes get wiped out, careers end, and talent wains. And it can all happen in an instant.
There’s a poem I had hanging on my wall in eighth grade, through high school, college, and even as I went through my doctorate program. This poem is titled Man In the Glass, by Peter Dale Wimbrow, Sr. (You can read that poem by clicking here.) The lines I think of often are “When…the world makes you king for the day, Just go to the mirror and look at yourself, And see what that man has to say.”
The world does make us king for the day from time to time. We do look smart, stand out, and appear better than others occasionally. We have to remember that we are simply human, like the people we interact with day in and day out. That cashier, shoe salesman, or janitor could be president of the company one day. And the president of the company could get fired, get sick, or get replaced tomorrow. Our position in life is always subject to change, but the person you are, and how you treat others, is what matters most. I find few things more impressive than a professional athlete happily signing autographs, a famous actor willingly having selfies taken with fans, or a super successful person treating staff like they would a friend. And it is in the time you could be arrogant, could flaunt your position of power, or could flex your socioeconomic muscle, when remaining humble and remembering that you are only human will have the most impact.
And that impact is the impact you have on others, but more importantly, the impact it will have on yourself. The final verse in the Man In the Glass poem sums it up perfectly…
You may fool the whole world down the pathway of years
And get pats on the back as you pass,
But your final reward will be heartache and tears
If you’ve cheated the man in the glass.
